he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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