last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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