i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's rum buckets o'clock
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize