Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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