hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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