that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
