I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
