Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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