god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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