easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
