This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
