I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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