i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
