ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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