3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
how drunk are you?
Several
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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