new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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