Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Alive.
So much puke
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
