So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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