He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
