HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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