I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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