I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
