I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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