There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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