You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
