so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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