also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
