They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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