Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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