So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
