i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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