so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
