Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
