just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
