i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
