Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
