I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
