If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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