just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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