She just used a chaser for red wine.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sext me about skeletons
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