We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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