I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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