Pants 0. Shit 1.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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