upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
