how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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