that's an acceptable place to lick
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
