are you still at the devil's house?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
