Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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