I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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