the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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